March 6, 2010

Keith Richards: “Rumors of My Sobriety Are Greatly Exaggerated”

How awesome is Keith Richards? I mean this guy doesn't avoid the tough question about his "habits," he hits them head on. You have to admire this. Of course, there is nothing one should celebrate about someone who has abused their body the way he has. That is, unless you are a scientist and you want to unlock the secrets to why this guy is still alive to see if you could replicate his genetic code to make us all able to endure the trip to hell and back and look cool while doing it. (Take a breath. As far as run on sentances go, that was at least a 10k.) He must use the fountain of youth as bong water. (He needs to spill some of it on his face though. Dude looks like the modern day Chief Red Cloud that "smoke 'em a little too much peace pipe.") Is this guy really still alive, or is he the rock n' roll version of "Weekend at Bernies?" Do Mick and Ron, Charlie and whoever is playing bass for them now just roll him out on a mannequin stand with his arm hooked up to a radio control servo to strum his guitar?
Here's why I am in awe: I can't even stay up to watch the eleven o' clock news. If I go out to a concert, it seems like I need SCUBA tanks of Red Bull strapped to my back just to make it to last call. How is this guy still doing it? I don't know. It beats me. But as far a rock legends go, he is the Mona Lisa.

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